I'm currently a student of Republic Poly. I Love Tan, I hate heartbreakers!
I can be a Shopaholic at times, I enjoy having my friends around me.
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- Taiwan Trip
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Tan Surein Jean Raine Irene Fizah Azian KaiLeng Cixian Terence XueLi Paula KeYing WeiYi Piang Mindy

♥ Past Tense April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 June 2009 October 2009 November 2009 January 2010 March 2010

Im still not sleeping. How can i sleep when i feel that im a person that cannot be trusted. Even though if im tired, i will not be able to rest properly.

Everything was alright at the beginning of the day. Things starts to turn bad when we were on our way home. We had dinner with Vic's dad cos today is his dad's birthday. After our dinner, we accompanied his dad to the bus stop near Esplanade but when we were about to step out of Marina Square, it was raining heavily! Uncle got no choice but to take train home. He stay at Hougang and my boy stay at Tampines. The bus that uncle took was the same bus that Vic will be taking if he alights at Yio Chu Kang. I know i will be going back alone cos both of them will be taking the same bus. Of cos i will feel sad, but i know just nice they were going the same way, so it's ok. My brain says ok, but my heart wasnt.

At the City Hall platform, i was very quiet, i didnt talk to him, my mood totally change but i try to hide it. Hence, from City Hall to Marina then to Ang Mo Kio, i didnt speak a word to him, i didnt hold his hand. He asked me why i didnt talk or hold his hand, i just said im just feeling tired. Reaching Yio Chu Kang, i passed him his PDA but he didnt take it, means he wont b alighting at that station. I asked him, why didnt he alight, he just shook his head and i just kept quiet. He told him uncle did asked him how come i didnt talk to him, he told uncle that im feeling tired. But i guess uncle knows qhat is going on.

Just nice, along the journey, i was sms-ing with Wilson. Someone whom Vic dont like( long story ). I smsed him in the morning asking him how is he cos he sound as though he was going to commit suicide previously over his realtionship thingy. Wilson only replied me this evening but i didnt know he sms and he called. Vic starts to get jealous when i sms him. For me, i find that there is nothing wrong with me sms him when he treats me like sister and he really love the girl that broke up with him. Vic just practically thinks that he is trying to use soft way of getting me. Both of us alighted at Yishun and we were quarrelling at a corner of MRT station. Things were getting out of hand on this Wilson thing.

Im really feeling tired going through this thing over and over again. Why cant my boy trust me that i wont do things that i've done wrong in the past. I've tried very hard to make my boy feel that he wont lose me, it seems that i've not convince him. Im such a failure to be his girlfriend. Just cos of that incident caused so much things that will spoil our relationship.

Overall, all started by me. I cant blame him for not forgetting what happened easily. This was what i have harm myself with. I dont blame him if one day he cant take my nonsense, my temper, my moodswing, everything that he cant tolerate. I dont blame him if one day he will leave me when i know he wont. I dont blame him if he dont care about me anymore.

I will enjoy my day to my fullest with him. I promised him that this is his year, not only this year will be his, i will make it the point that every year will be his year. I will not bully him. I will not spend money on necessary things. I will not meet guys that he dont like alone. I will not be picky on food. I will not tickle places that he dont likes. I will not illl-treat him. I will not pressure him on his work.

I dont want to become a girlfriend that he cant handle. I dont want to be a impatient girl. I dont want to be a girl that gets angry easily. I dont want to be spoilt. I cant recognise myself. Im different from what i am in the past. It's so scary to know that my character change. I will remember what i've said today.